- Stories you shouldn't read to your kids
JACK AND JILL
Went up the hill
To have a little fun-
Stupid Jill
Forgot the pill
And now they have a son.
MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB
Her father shot it dead
Now it goes to school with her
Between two hunks of bread
LITTLE MISS muffet sat on a tuffet,
Her clothes all tattered and torn.
It had not been the spider
that crept up beside her
But Little Boy Blue and his horn.
SIMPLE SIMON met a Pieman
Going to the fair
Said Simple Simon to the Pieman
"What have you got there?"
Said the Pieman unto Simon
"Pies, you dumbass!"
THERE WAS A LITTLE GIRL,
who had a little curl!
Right in the middle of her forehead...
And when she was good,
she was very very good
But when she was bad she got a fur coat, jewels,a sports car......
HUMPTY DUMPTY sat on a wall
humpty dumpty had a great fall
all the kings horses and all the kings men
had scrambled eggs for breakfast again.
HEY DIDDLE, DIDDLE,
the cat did a piddle,
all over the bedside clock,
The little dog laughed to see such fun
when it died of electric shock
GEORGIE PORGY Pudding and Pie
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play
He kissed them too 'cause he was gay.
MARY MARY
Mary, Mary quite contrary
How does your garden grow?
With silver bells and cockle shells
And one damned onion
MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB
Mary had a little lamb,
The doctor damned near died!
|