15 Seems mighty chummy with the dog all of a sudden.

14 He actually *does* have your tongue.

13 You find a stash of "Feline of Fortune" magazines behind the couch.

12 Cyanide pawprints all over the house.

11 You wake up to find a bird's head in your bed.

10 As the wind blows over the grassy knoll in downtown Dallas, you get a faint whiff of catnip.

9 Droppings in litter box spell out "REDRUM."

8 Catch him with a new mohawk looking in the mirror saying, "Mew looking at me? Mew looking at me?"

7 Takes attentive notes every time "Itchy and Scratchy" are on.

6 You find blueprints for a device that starts with a mouse chased into a hole and ends with flaming oil dumped on your bed.

5 Has taken a sudden interest in the wood chipper.

4 Instead of dead birds, leaves cartons of Marlboros on your doorstep.

3 Ball of yarn playfully tied into a hangman's noose.

2 You find a piece of paper labeled "MY WIL" which says: "LEEV AWL 2 KAT."

... and the Number 1 Sign Your Cat May Be Planning to Kill You ...

1 Now sharpens claws on your car's brake lines.

 

 

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