- New Greeting Cards
Romance:
I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love.
After having met you, I've changed my mind.
Spiritual:
I must admit, you brought Religion in my life. I never believed
in Hell 'till I met you.
Anniversary:
Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't
help but wonder: what the fuck was I thinking?
Thinking of you:
As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am that you're not
here to ruin it for me.
For Wife/Girlfriend -
Christmas:
If I get only one thing for Christmas, I hope it's your sister.
Congratulations:
Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go though, would
you like to take this knife out of my back? You'll probably need
it again.
Mother's Day:
For every year that goes by, Mother, I just think of that inheritance
getting closer and closer.
No Occasion:
I always wanted to be rich, powerful, and well respected. And
while I'm dreaming, I wish you weren't so damn ugly.
Romance:
Sex with you is like using drugs: lots of people do it, but nobody's
stupid enough to admit it.
No Occasion:
They say that an attractive human body is worth a million dollars.
Looks like someone robbed your ugly ass.
Missing You:
When we were together, you always said you'd die for me. Now
that we've broken up, I think it's time you kept yourpromise.
For Husband - Happy Holidays:
The holidays are a great time to be with family. Of course, your
family won't be with you, since I'm taking the kids and moving
in with my sister, you cheating ass.
Friendship:
We have been friends for a very long time, let's say we call
it quits.
Missing You:
I'm so miserable without you, it's almost like you're here.
Friendship:
If you ever need a friend...buy a dog.
New Baby:
Congratulations on your new bundle of joy. Did you ever find
out who the father was?
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