CHAIRMAN OF THE BOARD:

• Leaps tall building in a single bound
  
• Is more powerful than a locomotive
  
• Is faster than a speeding bullet
  
• Walks on water
  
• Discusses policy with God
  

PRESIDENT:

• Leaps short buildings in a single bound
  
• Is more powerful than a switch engine
  
• Is just as fast as a speeding bullet
  
• Walks on water if the sea is calm
  
• Talks with God
  

EXECUTIVE VICE PRESIDENT:

• Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds.
  
• Is almost as powerful as a switch engine
  
• Is faster than a speeding BB.
  
• Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool
  
• Talks with God if special request is approved
  

VICE PRESIDENT:

• Barely clears a Quonset hut
  
• Loses tug-of-war with a locomotive
  
• Can fire a speeding bullet
  
• Swims well
  Is occasionally addressed by God
  

GENERAL MANAGER:

• Makes high marks on the wall when trying to leap buildings
  
• Is run over by locomotive
  
• Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury
  
• Dog paddles
  
• Talks to animals
  

MANAGER:

• Runs into buildings
  
• Recognizes locomotive two out of three times
  
• Is not issued ammunition
  
• Can't stay afloat with a life preserver
  
• Talks to walls

TRAINEE:

• Falls over doorsteps when trying to enter building
  
• Says "look at the choo-choo"
  
• Wets him/herself with a water pistol
  
• Plays in mud puddles
  
• Mumbles to him/herself
  

SECRETARY:

• Lifts buildings and walks under them
  
• Kicks locomotives off the tracks
  
• Catches speeding bullets in his/her teeth
  
• Freezes water with a single glance
  
• Is God