Top 40 reasons it's great to be a guy:

1. A five day vacation requires only one suitcase.
2. Monday Night Football.
3. Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter.
4. You can open all your own jars. Dry cleaners and haircutter’s don’t rob you blind. When clicking through the channel, you don’t have to stall on every shot of someone crying.
5. A beer gut does not make you invisible to the opposite sex.
6. You can go to the bathroom with out a support group.
7. When your work is criticized, you don’t have to panic that everyone secretly hates you.
8. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
9. You see the humor in Terms of Endearment.
10. Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow.
11. Sex means never worrying about your reputation.
12. Your underwear is $10 for a three pack.
13. You don’t have to shave below your neck.
14. If you’re 34 and single, nobody notices.
15. You can write your name in the snow.
16. You can get into a nontrivial pissing contest.
17. Everything on your face stays its original color.
18. You can be President.
19. Flowers fix everything.
20. You get to think about sex 90% of your waking hours.
21. You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
22. Michael Bolton doesn’t live in your universe.
23. Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into the room.
24. You don’t have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming by.
25. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
26. The world is your urinal.
27. You never misconstrue innocuous stat ents to mean your lover is about to leave you
28. Hot wax never comes near you pubic area. One mood, all the time.
29. You never have to drive to another gas station because this one’s just too skeevy.
30. Gray hair and wrinkles add character.
31. Wedding dress: $2,000. Tux rental: $100.
32. You don’t mooch off others’ desserts.
33. If you retain water, it’s in a canteen.
34. ESPN’s SportsCenter.
35. You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother.
36. If you don’t call your buddy when you say you will, he won’t tell your friends you’ve changed.
37. Someday you’ll be a dirty old man.
38. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you might become lifelong buddies.
39. You think the idea of punting a small dog is funny.
40. If something mechanical doesn’t work, you can bash it with a hammer and throw it across the room.


Top 40 reasons it's great to be a girl:

1. You won't starve without a can opener.
2. Your friends won't get drunk and hit on your sister.
3. Jeweller's and grocery stores won't rob you blind.
4. Short skirts will always cure Unemployment.
5. Male Pattern Baldness.
6. You're 5 times less likely to kill yourself.
7. "Heavy Lifting" isn't a necessity for ployment on your resume.
8. You'll never get a draft card.
9. You can distract an entire roomful of men just by reapplying lipstick.
10. You smell better. No matter what.
11. When you fight, you fight to kill.
12. You can cook your own food.
13. You see the humor in war.
14. You rule the bathroom.
15. Mo matter how long it takes to get ready, guys will always wait for you.
16. Sex means never having to finish the job.
17. It's ok for you to marry for money.
18. No one ever mistakes your chest for a bathmat.
19. You'll never have more hair in your nose than on your head.
20. You don't consider urination a competitive sport. .
21. You don't consider tomato sauce to be a fashion stat ent.
22. You'll always get served first in a hardware store.
23. Men are optional.
24. The Three Stooges don't live in your universe
25. You'll probably never have to change a lightbulb.
26. You never feel compelled to scratch yourself in public.
27. You can bend over in prison.
28. You can walk down the street without mentally undressing everyone around you.
29. You can always find a sucker to pump your gas for you.
30. You can wear your sister's clothes without making a major lifestyle adjustment..
31. Short girls are "petite". Short guys are "midgets".
32. Grooms all look the same. Everyone only wants to see the Bride.
33. No matter how ugly you are, you'll always be able to get laid.
34. No matter whose place you stay at, you'll always get the bed.
35. "Stagettes" are our little secret!
36. Someday you'll be a rich widow.
37. No matter what you do, you'll always be "daddy's little girl" (this is not sexual, you perverts).
38. You don't consider farting to be the epitome of humour.
39. You secretly admire Loreena Bobbitt. .
40. Your idea of a good movie doesn't need "Debbie does . . ." in the title.

www.Rickysplace.com