- How to tell you have a FUCKED-UP Lawyer
1. During your initial consultation he tries to sell you Amway.
2. He tells you that his last good case was a "Budweiser."
3. When the prosecutors see who your lawyer is, they high-five
each other.
4. He picks the jury by playing "duck-duck-goose."
5. During the trial you catch him playing his Gameboy.
6. A prison guard is shaving your head.
7. He places a large "No Refunds" sign on the defense
table.
8. He begins closing arguments with, "As Ally McBeal once
said ..."
9. He keeps citing the legal case of Godzilla v. Mothra.
10. Just before he says "Your Honor," he makes those
little quotation marks in the air with his fingers.
11. The sign in front of his law office reads "Practicing
Law Since 2:25 PM."
12. Whenever his objection is overruled, he tells the judge,
"Whatever."
13. Just before trial starts he whispers, "The judge is
the one with the little hammer, right?"
|