- You might be poor white trash if....
1. You think "loading the dishwasher" means
getting your wife drunk.
2. The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
3. You were shooting pool when any of your children
were born.
4. Your school fight song was "Dueling Banjos."
5. Your wife has ever said, "Come move this
transmission so I can take a bath."
6. You clean your fingernails with a stick.
7. You've ever hit a deer with your car, deliberately.
8. Your mother has "ammo" on her Christmas
list.
9. You keep a can of RAID on your kitchen table.
10. You've totaled every car you've ever owned.
11. There has ever been crime-scene tape on your bathroom
door.
12. You ever got too drunk to fish.
13. You consider the fifth grade your senior year.
14. Directions to your house include, "Turn off the
paved road."
15. The dog can't watch you eat without gagging.
16. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
17. You think the French Riviera is a foreign car.
18. You prefer car keys to Q-Tips.
19. You've ever financed a tattoo.
20. The gas pedal in your car is shaped like a bare foot.
21. You've ever bought a used hat.
22. You've ever been involved in a custody fight over a
dog.
23. You're considered an expert on worm beds.
24. You think a subdivision is part of a math problem.
25. Your stove is on the porch and your lawn chairs are
in the kitchen.
26. "Bambi" made you hungry for rabbit.
27. You learned to drive in a monster truck.
28. You spit chewing tobacco in the plants.
29. Your wedding reception included a beer brunch.
30. You believe books are bad luck.
31. You believe all-star wrestling should be an Olympic
competition.
32. You believe all-star wrestling.
33. You recycle motor oil by moving it from the car to
the truck.
34. You think a "thesaurus" was a dinosaur.
35. You like to brag you learned to fire a shotgun before
you could walk.
36. Rather than drinking the sacramental wine at church
you "bring your own
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